"I Will Never Know Why" Susan Klebold

Whenever anyone brings up the events that occurred on April 20, 1999 my initial thoughts go to the students that were killed, the ones that were injured, their families, and disturbing thoughts that must have been going through the killers' minds. I overlooked the fact that there were two more sets of parents who lost children that day, and live with something else that the other parent's do not-- their sons were responsible for killing and injuring several people, inflicting unfathomable pain on numerous families; did they do something wrong in raising their child? Could things have gone differently?

Susan Klebold finally addresses these questions, and what I feel throughout the essay is her sense of being a mother-- she speaks as a mother throughout the text, noting that her initial thoughts when she received the panicked message from her husband were for her sons, and later in the article stating that "though others were suffering, my thoughts focused on the safety of my own child."

Before reading the essay, I expected her to spend the majority of the time defending her son's actions, finding a way to redeem the both of them through her words. This was not the case; in fact, where she could have avoided using such descriptive words for her son's actions such as "horror" and "anguish," saying she will forever be haunted. I think that as a mother in this situation, she was taking the opportunity to address every side of the situation-- the victims and their families, her ignorance as a mother, her son as a child and as her own, and her son as the Columbine shooter. She recognizes that this could have been avoided, but goes forward in using her story to draw awareness to others, in hopes of not letting it happen again.

I understand where people's frustrations come from, but I still think that teenagers have the ability to manipulate their parents who give them unconditional love. What parent wants to admit their child is suicidal let alone a killer? It is hard for me to criticize someone that I can't even imagine relating to, especially when they wait 10 years to finally voice their emotions.